Suddenly it hit me and I cant explain this feeling. Something I always had but never truly realized how much I needed. I looked all around for perfection, I searched until my heart was ripped apart, and you sat there, and watched me get my heart ripped out. And you sat there and you tried to help. I always thought I could get along without you. But me without you is me without myself. I looked all around for perfect, but perfect was right in front of me the whole time. Sometimes I wonder if you will ever forgive me. Sometimes I wonder if it could ever be at least what it was. You were my best friend, you were my everything. But apparently I was too blind to see. I looked all over for perfect. But you are perfect. And how could I not see. I don’t ever stop thinking about you. I cant ever get you out of my head. I cant ever get you out of my mind. I cant stop needing you. I cant stop wondering if you will ever be who you were. I cant stop thinking about if I will ever get my best friend back. I keep needing you and I keep thinking about you. And you just keep sitting in my mind. And I keep trying to be brave enough to just speak to you when before it was my first instinct. I was afraid of you before. And im afraid of you now. But I would rather be scared about you falling in love with me than being scared that you wont fall in love with me. So I always thought I could get along without you, but you saved my life. You saved my life. Every day that passes I hate myself more and more for not taking advantage of your love. Because now that its not there, so much of me is gone.. everything in me is gone. You never realize what you have until its gone right? So I guess I will just sit here.. and keep needing you, keep hearing you in my mind, keep thinking about what I gave up. And I will just keep hating myself more and more. But no one will ever know how I feel and no one will ever know that I’ve lost myself. And no one will ever know because like always nothing is ever wrong on my surface. But when you get inside, it’s a whole other story. So I guess I will just sit here and pay attention to you while you pay no attention to me. But who are you to blame, because I know it was all my fault. I pushed you away I pushed you back, because I was so afraid of hurting you. But look who’s hurting who. And you probably don’t have the intentions. But I love you.